Saturday, February 11, 2012
No longer look forward to the weekends. It's been six weeks & nothing has changed.
Back then after every lesson on a Saturday, I'll look forward to an eventful start of my weekend. Yuppp no matter how mentally & physically drained I get from teaching.
Fri evening 3 hours of class till 930pm & 6.5 hours worth of sat classes.
It gets harder trying to digest this cold hard truth. But superwoman me can do this!!!
Friday, February 03, 2012
Curiosity killed the cat.
In relation, curiosity killed trust. Curiosity killed my profound happiness. Curiosity (fucking) killed impression.
If you know me well enough, you should be very aware of my immaculate "stalking" skill. It seems like this skill is quite detrimental. I discovered conversations, raw feelings that are better left unsaid, undiscovered, by yours truly.
As of two months ago, I am surviving on paranoia for this relationship.
I cannot help but feel shaken each time I recall what I've read/seen/discovered.
If someday this relationship dwindle to a losing end, I guess I can't solely blame him. I've to be blamed for his straying acts.
There must be a reason why certain things aren't shared with me, right? There must be a reason why some arguments are left dangling. One morning we both woke up realizing that our issues are so yesterday & started behaving perfectly normal. Eh, whatever happened to prior cold shoulder & one word replies?
Oh yes, we've chucked it down this barrel of ignorance!
You must be wondering why I'm keeping mum?
Simple reason - I wish to avoid any heated dispute & debate on trust & the likes. The possibility of that happening is a definite 100%.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wow it has definitely been quite a while.
I guess I've moved out of this penning down publicly phase & it sure feels awkward in trying to piece my thoughts.
Been doing quite a bit of reflection via my organizer & new notebook given by my boy!
& not forgetting occasional ramblings on twitter heehee.
Less than a week away to 2012.
I must say 2011 has been quite a ride.
I guess there was a balance of both the good & the bad, improvement from my wrecked 2010.
Yes slightly a month into my 2011, things spiraled; friendship frayed, warped thoughts, bitter emotions & so forth but I came out stronger :)
I also had amazing getaways (: Yup beginning to feel the pinch in my pocket haha.
A beginning with someone new. Albeit the pseudo variations of world war 3, I'm glad we are handling things better. For what is worth, we can do this ♥
Came to a realization that I'm still inclined to teaching.
Deep inside, I do wish to educate, inspire & get inspired.
I may not have excelled in major examinations that set myself apart from the rest, but I definitely hold tangible experiences in which allow myself to be different.
I shall not be doomed just because I've faltered.
Have a good remaining 2011 guys.
Let's end the year right, especially if we have failed to start it proper.
(:
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
"You're not happy being with me right? At least that's the impression I gathered." - are you seriously mindfucking me? With such a preconceived notion in your head, I don't see why this should carry on. Like is it even worth proving you wrong?
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never good enough, yes okay I get it.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Ramadhan 2011 is zooming way too fast.
You mean we are only 3 fasting days away from Syawal 2011? Wow.
But I guess 2011 is an extremely fast paced year. Look, we are nearing september in barely a week's time. That's an indication that we are 3/4 through the year. Another wow part 2!
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My room's extremely neat & squeakly clean right now. Yay me :D :D
The only thing left to do is change my bedsheets!
My hari raya bakes are not progressing well omg mad rush mad rush! *stabs self
Oh yeah I've also collected my tailored kebaya & kurong pesak!
Loveeeeeee the tailored kebaya x infinity kthx! Definitely a good steal from Bandung & Jkt *woop woop
BUT.. I've lost quite a bit of weight so I wouldn't look as flattering as I imagined it to be. SIGH.
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Omgomg (hyperventilation in progress) Adham sneaked a $10 Sogurt voucher + damn cute Teddy bear note in my bag yesterday when I was trying out my kebaya!
How sweet is that omgomgomg where did that idea came from? Considering I haven't been mentioning Sogurt in 2 weeks!
According to him, that's smtg small, a really small surprise for me as an advanced 22nd gift!
It means quite alot to me cause knowing him & the all boys environment that he grew up in.. This gesture feels heart-warming! (:
Alalalala I is so malu pls kekeke. Spanks & I lava chewwww :D *pinches his chubby cheeks ! It's quite cacat btw hahaha it's sooooo soft & bouncy, like some kind of tofu/ball! *boingboing
Monday, August 08, 2011
*clutches tummy & mentally ripping my uterus apart
One hell of a cramp + nauseating feeling = fucked up
I'll be more than happy to give up my uterus to anyone out there.
Now do not start on the whole - I feel you babe blahblahblah.
Cause you obviously don't. You've no idea what I'm going through, what condition I'm under & how physically + mentally taxing this is.
I've always wanted to be, normal.
Distance
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
I'm not too sure if it's because I embrace independence really well or it's because I'm glad for once my relationship is on a less clingy mode.
My past(s) has been all about seeing the other half 75-80% of my life, for at least 6 hours each.
So times like this when I'm with someone new.. What nots with all the staying too far from one another, forever flying, Sunday morning + afternoon is a must for family time.. I am surprisingly not complaining!
He told me that we should be glad there is some level of distance between us & I couldn't agree more.
It's amazing how each time we have an argument or disappointment, it has never ever once been about - why you stay so far. Why you always have plans.
It's always about frivolous petty things escalated into something big because well.. Yours truly is an attention cranky whore HAHA!
With that being said, I really treasure the time we spend together, even if it's just for half hour (like sending me off for tuition?).
Can never ask for anything more
(:
Afterall being together does not equate to demanding your partner to meet you everyday or call you up everyday.
I really love what's app btw heehee.
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This August Ramadhan would be all about 32 days of abstinence & absence.
Before spending time for slightly more than a week before I fly off for 11 days.
Mission possible this shall be!
Like he said, we ain't no further than we are now. At least we can be proud we are stronger than any other committed partners out there.
Huwahhhh some kind of cheesy only *blush blush
Afterall you need to experience some kind of restlessness, I miss you so damn much kinda adrenaline rush.
Sux2byou if you don't get to experience that. Might as well not move on to another level bahahaha #justsaying
