Sunday, December 18, 2005
its been a few days since i had problems sleeping . yesterday wasn't an exception at all . somehow i really felt insecure and had lots on my mind . i was getting all restless and was so tempted to msg W but i knew he would be sleeping as he told me so . somehow W managed to pull me through but i knew i'm going to have another fall . i only managed to fall asleep at 5 .
coincidentially , xinyi called me at 1 plus and we had a nice chat . we had a long talk , both full of laughters and sorrows . ironically many stuffs are bugging me but i just couldn't figure out what it was . there was a certain barrier as to what it was and with a heavy heart i kept mum about it . she could sense that i wasn't myself and made me realise something .
" at times the ones that tear you apart are the only ones that could put you back together "no matter how controversial that may sound , but i guess it is true . i guess it is this complication that triggered my insecurities . or maybe it is a factor of me
relinquishing that broken thread
unwillingly . or maybe i had myself to blame . i gave more and expected more in return .
maybe it is because i had someone that unexpectedly managed to unravel
that part of me . being able to see me through but not the facade that was shown all these while . yes the sentence contradicts , but one can never control the innerheart .
oh how melodramatic . i'm going out tmr . at the very least i hope i'll be myself once again and be all smiles .
