Friday, February 18, 2011
I have really amazing, fun loving and witty colleagues in school!
I am really thankful for this.
Today's BBQ & bonding session was the best way to end the weekday.
Thank you Jennifer (:
But as of now, I shall crash cause my exhuastion is beginning to sink in.
Have a great weekend, to whoever that is reading this! Afterall, it is rare to see me exude such positivity.
Friday, February 11, 2011
I do not know what to make out of this anymore.
Just like everyone else, I should really pick up the art of indifference.
Ohana = Family?
Sunday, February 06, 2011
I have grown to develop a dislike towards the circle of people whom I thought was beyond amazing & loving, a decade back.
I have seriously forgotten how I used to be damn close to the man of the house. How I would run towards him to seek comfort, solace and more often than not; material satisfaction.
Right now.. I am seldom home. I barely greet them early in the morning. I barely give my dad a kiss on his cheeks. I no longer tease mommy for being short & chubby (hehe like a teapot). Or how the brother & I only talk when we need each other's help. My heart is always full of angst & frustration, I don't bother making attempts to strike a conversation.
Just an hour plus ago.. I heard him labelling me as useless cause I only made a drink for myself. For always putting myself before others, at least in a family context.
A week ago while tossing & turning on my (huge) bed.. I looked around me. My room could have been a house on it's own.
I only needed two things to complete the look- a toilet & a mini fridge to store my yakult & fruits (strawberry, apple, seedless grape).
Is that why each time I'm home, right now for this instance.. I am always cooped up within these 4 walls?
Maybe.. Few years down the road I'll really realize the importance of a close-knitted family. I'll be able to once again embrace the moment that I was living comfortably in more than a decade ago.
Most importantly.. Not to feel irked when my mom says - I love you.
Because if the KBSM entourage can accomplish it, why can't I?
There is only the 4 of us while the entourage has more than 10 times that value!
*sidenote
I am not saying there isn't any form of communication going on.
The level of communications feels.. Frivolous? Vague? On the surface? A touch & go moment?
It is the kind of communication where you can always do without. The kind of communication where there will never be any room for progression.
The kind of communication that only I will "understand", not so much of fathoming.
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